Lesbian: hey i just met you
Lesbian: and this is crazy
Lesbian: but i think we should cohabitate, my u-haul is parked out back, how do you feel about cats i really love tabby's i have two we're a little family looking for our missing piece we should get a dog let's re-do the kitchen all zen-like whaddya say....baby?
Other lesbian: *gets in u-haul and they drive off into the sunset together to live in perfect harmony for two weeks*
A girl's moan is the sexiest thing, ever.
I’m going to be making a huge mistake this month. Whether I try and prevent something or decide to “take the risk.” Which thinking about it, they’re both incredibly risky. Gonna go work on my hierarchy list while the anxiety is growing.
adamusprime: there’s no logical reason for shorts to be the same price as pants
birdywillow: people asking me what kind of music i like is such a stressful experience
mommydad: i cant :P understand :P your accent :P
How to tell the difference between different...
POWER METAL: The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.
THRASH METAL: The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.
HEAVY METAL: The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the princess.
FOLK METAL: The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave........ without the princess.
VIKING METAL: The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.
DEATH METAL: The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.
BLACK METAL: The protagonist IS the dragon, dwells in the heart of the night with in a castle full of hellhounds and eternal flames. He kills the sassy knight, fucks the noble steed and sacrifices the princess to Satan.
GORE METAL: The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.
DOOM METAL: The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.
PROGRESSIVE METAL: The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the 'HEAVY METAL' protagonist.
GLAM METAL: The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour.
NU METAL: The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.
STONER METAL: The protagonist arrives, slays the dragon, and brings the princess home to fuck her to Black Sabbath
SLUDGE METAL: The protagonist arrives and makes the dragon feel really uncomfortable, steals the dragon's heroin, flips a table and goes home to listen to Black Sabbath.
DRONE METAL: The protagonist start's a song at his concert, sets the guitar down in front of amp to let it feed back, and leaves to go slay the dragon. He arrives at the dragon's Lair and makes the dragon's head implode, fucks the princess, and arrives back at his concert 2 hours later so he can finish the song.
times when it’s appropriate to drop it like it’s hot when the pimps in the crib when the pigs try to get at ya if a nigga get a attitude
Are you a perfectionist? If you strive for perfection, the only result you can...– Tommi Lloyd, Author of Insanity to Serenity (via insanitytoserenity)
Keanu Reeves is a vampire.
theblackship: Now, look at this: That’s “Paul Mounet”, a french actor, who “died” in 1922. His body never was found. Then, look at this: An unknown man, painted in 1530 by Parmigianino. Compare them: i believe.